I know that’s a long title for a list…but this is MY blog and I like the title…I really like the word meh…
ANYBUT! Here is the actual intro for this list.
There are so many horror films. Obviously not ALL of them are going to knock it out of the park. Some are SO close though but maybe one thing prevents it from being the truly terrifying film it could be…and I’m going to do my best to present 10 of those now. And because I didn’t learn my lesson last time, I’ll try to give an idea of how it COULD have happened.
10 Meh Horror Films That COULD Have Been Terrifying
10. The Village
I think the twist at the end could’ve worked…HEAR ME OUT!! It could’ve worked…if the creatures had ACTUALLY been real. Imagine: the village was a tasty trap to keep the real creatures away from the rest of the world. When whatever her name was (the blind girl) had to venture into the woods, her father sacrifices himself in order to keep her daughter safe. And when she reaches the wall and tries to stop the ranger for help, it’s revealed his orders are to shoot any who cross the wall…tragic ending, but I mean is it worse than what we got?
Go…full…horror. It took SOOOO long for anything to happen in this movie. I understand the whole questioning what’s human/playing god with DNA blah blah blah, but this movie should’ve just been a full on horror film. Also rewrite the characters to ACTUALLY be interesting and not…whatever they were and this film could’ve been truly impact fully horrifying.
8. The Exorcism of Emily Rose
Okay, this movie was actually pretty good…except for the flashes to the present. They gave it away too fast that they were going the “it’s all real” route. Keep that shit until the last ten minutes of the film! You went through all the trouble of explaining everything, but you gave away the twist in the first half of the film.
Why do we have to have a random character to follow? Helen Mirren was enough. But if I have to have whatshisname in the film…like the previous entry, don’t give it away the ghosts are real. I think this film could’ve been fantastic if it went sort of the Haunting of Hill House route. Have the audience question if Mirren’s character is crazy or not…while having hidden ghosts all throughout the house. Make the audience question their own eyes as they question the old woman building rooms for ghosts.
6. The Nun
ACTUALLY MAKE A MOVIE ABOUT THE NUN!!! I mean, we didn’t truly learn anything new. I wanted to see how the damn demon decided to dress as a goddamn NUN! I don’t want to be TOLD, I want to SEE it!!! That’s it…that’s the entry.
5. Dead Silence
There were so many elements that were brilliant…they just weren’t well-executed. It makes it very hard to identify what exactly was THE thing that bothered me about this film…I think I wanted to see this film occur closer to the time period the puppet lady died. I think keeping it closer to the woman’s death would’ve added a horror element…maybe?
4. Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark
The monsters were fine…perfect even….but they should’ve just gone full R. I know TECHNICALLY the books are kids books…but I mean…sorry, kids imagine far more terrifying things and truthfully, adults wanted to see this movie just as much as kids. I wanted to see this movie be just horrifying. Show the kids get killed, or better yet…make a version of the movie that’s about adults finding the book and releasing their childhood fears unto the world.
Look…the first Ring was a good horror movie. The idea of making the killer video tape digital? It should’ve worked. Why didn’t it work? Retconning Samara’s story…Why can’t we just get a movie where a creepy girl just kills people without trying to tell her life’s story? I don’t care how she became a media demon! I just want her to kill people!!
2. The Happening
Have someone else write it…next.
1. House of Wax
Make the House of Wax a traveling exhibit. I want it to be successful, not a rundown side of the road show that rarely gets visitors. Also, make the owner personable, likable. I don’t want another mutant or something that makes it unbelievable. You can keep the wound and wax used to cover it (especially for a reveal later), but I want the owner to be, on the surface, a well-liked, charming guy.
There are a lot of films I could’ve included on this list…A LOT. But here are 5 more.
5. Slender Man
Cut the Ring copycat video…it should’ve been like the Bye Bye Man (another awful film). If you think about him…he’s drawn to you.
4. Last Shift
The only thing I’d change…maybe shorten it…it dragged a little bit in the beginning.
3. Dark Water
It could’ve been good. It was almost there. It nailed the atmosphere, but lost it on the scares. I think this could actually be made better now…
2. Silent Hill
I love the video games…LOVE them. I think they got pretty close on the first movie…I just wished there had been less CGI! Could you imagine some of those scenes done with traditional effects? IT COULD HAVE BEEN AMAZING!!
1. One Missed Call
The premise of this movie is fantastic…which is why you should just watch the original. That’s my fix…watch the original Japanese film.
Do you have ideas how some bad horror films could’ve reached pinnacle terror? Leave a comment!