Category Archives: I Have A Dream

A Recurring Nightmare

I don’t have a lot of recurring nightmares…

They’re more recurring themes of nightmares. But there’s one that I keep having that really messes with my head.

It’s the nightmare that I don’t have enough credits to graduate college.

I think it stems from the fact I was terrified while I was in college that I wouldn’t graduate on time. THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!! If you need an extra semester or year, that’s fine. But for me it was the idea that I wouldn’t graduate on time due to ONE credit.

My college required a certain number of credits of language. I don’t have a strong affinity for learning another language so this was very difficult for me.

I took French in High School, but I barely passed that so I thought I’d start over with a different language and one that I already knew a few words of (thanks to band).


The first professor I had……was AWFUL. He was Italian, but his class was just a lot of memorization. I literally had a final that was memorizing the Little Mermaid in Italian and saying it back to him. And no, I don’t mean translating the Little Mermaid and then saying it to him. He gave us the story in Italian and we had to memorize it.

I learned NOTHING in that class. I learned more when I worked an opera in Italy and lived there for a month.

BUT THAT DIDN’T COUNT TOWARDS MY CREDIT!!!! I lived in Italy for a MONTH and my college wouldn’t let that count for ANYTHING towards my language credit.

But luckily I earned all but 1 credit towards the language requirement from that AWFUL class which meant I still had to take one MORE semester of Italian, but I refused to take the class with that teacher.

Luckily I wasn’t the only one who thought this and he was fired before my senior year. So I got to take the remaining class I needed with a different professor who ACTUALLY taught it. He was also, VERY understanding. I explained to him I was a theater major and how I lived in Italy for a month. This was the last credit I needed to graduate and he was a little more lenient on me grading-wise.

I passed and graduated on time.

BUT BACK TO MY NIGHTMARE!!! The reason I said this nightmare messes with my head is even when I’m awake I feel like I didn’t earn that credit. I didn’t really earn the credit and shouldn’t have graduated.

And even though it’s been 8 (almost 9) years since I graduated I still feel like that. I still think I’m going to wake up and realize I’m still in college, struggling to earn that last Italian credit.


It’s also a bit of my Imposter Syndrome mixing with my nightmare…….feeding on the anxiety and stress to become a powerful Nightmare WIZARD!!

Zombies? Really?

I had a nightmare…

It was out of nowhere. I haven’t watched anything with zombies or talked about zombies in months.


I had a nightmare where I was the leader of a group of survivors. We were living in (randomly) the house I lived in Indiana. One of the survivors wanted to take one of our cars to find…food? Or maybe it was one of her children who ran off…I don’t really remember.

Anybut, I told her it was too dangerous and she sat on the porch step as I walked inside.

Next day, I was checking the security fence (electrified apparently?) and realized it was powered down and zombies were approaching, a  huge horde. I sounded the alarm and all the survivors ran into the house.

As I joined them, one of our cars pulls up and I angrily yell at the survivor I spoke to the day before. I tell her to close the garage door and run inside.

Inside, we start blockading the doors and windows. Everyone is taken to the basement except for a handful who go upstairs to take sniper positions.

I go to the basement and we block the door with bookcases and a chest of drawers. Everyone is told to be silent and we wait for the horde to pass.

However, as I check on the survivors, I notice one of the windows (which are covered to keep the zombies from seeing inside) has a hole in it and I see a decomposing eye peeking in.

I quickly grab a knife and stab the zombie, killing it and luckily its body keeps other from seeing inside.

Then I woke up…cause I think the zombies were  about to break in and my fear woke me before everyone stared dying.

It was the first very detailed dream I’ve had in a while. A full 3 or 4 scenes I remembered. Usually it’s a cacophony of scenes that don’t make sense together.

Smart Dreams

I hate when my dreams scold me…

Has that ever happened to you?

You’re minding your own business in a dream flying or meeting your idol and then your dream decides, “Okay, enough fun. Time to get down to business!”

That happened to me not last night, but the night before. I was dreaming about this really cool location where the ocean floor glowed allowing you to see the sea life beneath the surface (only really in the shallows). Kind of like how you can glitch in games where there’s water so you can see the bottom perfectly.

Anyways, I was enjoying the magically glowing sea life when all of the sudden I was inside a building watching a play about a love triangle. Not really a love triangle…but kind of? I don’t really know how to explain it unless you’ve been in one of these.

Here I go trying anyways: the love triangle were only one person realizes there is one but one person in the couple still kind of flirts with the that one person………okay, in other words when a third wheel also has a crush on one of the two in the couple and a member of the couple doesn’t help with the confusing feelings cause they are a natural flirt.

What does this have to do with my dream scolding me?

Well, you could say it’s like that old verse don’t yearn for your neighbors wife….I don’t really know the verse, but it was something like that. This kind of ties in to a previous post I wrote about a guy in college I had a crush on who never mentioned he was married until someone else asked him. Nothing happened between us cause I’m NOT that kind of lady. But I think writing about that experience made my subconscious go into moral overload.

You remembered that moment in you life and need to be reminded that if someone is taken, they are TAKEN! 

This wasn’t really ever a moral question for me, but everyone still has that teeny tiny voice in the back of their head saying, “yeah, but what if you did it?” and sometimes your dreams play it out for you……….or they SCOLD YOU!!

My dreams rarely play things out for me. They prefer to scold me.

Anybut, being a third wheel….SUUUUUCKS!

But someday I’ll find my wheel and I’ll be part of a four-wheel….NOT IN THAT WAY!!

I’m gonna end this post here before I put both of my feet in my mouth.

Earliest Nightmare

Do you remember…

The earliest nightmare you ever had?

I do.

And I know it was the earliest nightmare because I was still in a crib.

Back story: I apparently was very picky about toys when I was a baby, but if I could’ve told my parents about this nightmare clearly, I’m sure they would’ve understood why better.

Anybut, back to the nightmare.

I remember being in my crib and I looked over at a shelf that was…preeeetty high up on the wall across the room. Sitting on the shelf were a number of toys, but the most important toy for the purpose of this story is a Teddy Bear.

It was a very nice bear, from a German company that I can’t remember the name of (but if I do I’ll edit this post at the bottom with the name). It was a normal little dark brown bear with a pink bow on its…left ear? right ear? left ear.

It wasn’t a very nice bear this night. It’s head decided to turn towards me as I stared at it…before pulling an Exorcist…and spinning all the way around. Then it fell from the shelf to the floor.

And that was the nightmare. The strangest thing though was the next morning, my parents found the bear on the floor….

BUT that was enough to make me hate that teddy bear toy for many years. I literally wouldn’t allow it in my room until I went to college. By then, it was more of a nostalgic thing…one of the earliest gifts from my parents as I left them for my new life as an adult…college student.

So, yeah, that was the earliest nightmare I can remember. I have another nightmare to share with you all another day….that one doesn’t have a relatively happy ending, though.

Octopus Nightmare

I’ve been having some weird dreams lately. Maybe it’s because I’ve actually been getting some good sleep, you know the deep sleep.

Real life blending with…well, not real life. Anyways, it’s been reminding me of this one nightmare I had back when I was maybe eleven or twelve. I think it was the first real nightmare that terrified me while I was experiencing it. I’ve had nightmares before and since that’ve given me the cold sweat wake ups, but this one is still as clear as the night I had it.

I was on a tour bus, like the one at Universal Studios, except instead of touring a studio it was touring our neighborhood. Only it wasn’t really our neighborhood, there were no trees or hills and the houses were spaced out more like the neighborhood from Edward Scissorhands.

The bus driver stopped and pointed behind us like in an old B-movie horror kind of way. You know, the point with open mouth and scream instead of running or saying anything useful.

Everyone on the bus turns and a tidal wave is rushing towards the bus, but then a giant octopus exploded from the water. A giant purply-brown octopus (yes, I remember the color…it had silver eyes).

I feel I need to explain something before continuing. When I was in elementary and middle school I had an irrational fear of octopi. I choose to believe this was due to how the Indianapolis Zoo chose to present an octopus. In the darkest room ever. The tank was so dark you could barely see anything. It reminded my young, innocent child self of that seen in Jaws 3D (yes, that Jaws 3D) where the girl is looking out the window and the half eaten diver appears sending everyone into a panic (needless to say that scene scared the piss out of me as a child…the only thing in that movie really). So I expected the hiding octopus to slam into the glass if I stood too close.

Follow-up: the octopus never did, it barely ever moved from under a very comfortable looking rock…if you ever saw it at all.


So I’m already suffering from said irrational fear of octopi when a gigantic, enormous octopus explodes from the tidal wave rushing at the tour bus I’m on. I, being an intelligent human, run off the bus and into my house which the bus conveniently parked in front of before the tentacled attack.

I lock the doors, but I can see the octopus outside the windows, its creepy eye peering in at me. The front door is knockedf off its hinges and a large tentacle chases me up the stairs.

I run into my parents bedroom because as in typical horror movie fashion I think the bathroom will be safe and my parents had a very nice bathroom in Indiana. A tentacle wraps around my ankle and starts pulling me back. I grab the bed posts of my parents’ bed and hang on for dear life.

And here is where the nightmare entered into the forever remembered halls of my brain. I did the trick. You know, the trick you’re supposed to do to prove your in a dream.

I pinched myself. I DID! I hung onto the bed post as a tentacle pulled my leg nearly out of socket and pinched my arm. To be fair, it didn’t hurt so I knew I was dreaming. But it didn’t really make me feel better because I was still terrified.

Then I woke up. Cold sweat, breathing quickly, heart pounding a mile a minute…but not being attacked by an octopus.

Fun fact: I’m no longer afraid of octopi. I think they’re fascinating and probably could take over the world if they chose. I AM deeply terrified of sting/manta rays though…but that’s a story for another day.