Self Sabotage

As I approach a new gig in one week, I’m reminded how I almost messed up my shot at it.

I have a nasty habit of letting my imposter syndrome convince me that I don’t deserve things. It’s not debilitating because I have ways of working through the thoughts.

Anybut, whenever a new opportunity pops up on my radar I spend a long time staring at the emails/messages I’m about to send off to someone who will determine my fate and fight the urge to…well NOT send them.

Then after I send them, I think of all the things wrong in the email or on my resume or how I didn’t send it at a convenient time. And then I accept before even hearing back that I probably ruined my chance at the opportunity.

It’s not fun having a saboteur who also happens to be me. But I’ve worked hard to learn how to deal with it and though some days are difficult…I try my best.

Though there are some days I could just turn off that part of my brain right before I send my fate out into the void.

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