Tag Archives: random

She rises from the depths….

Vampire Rising From Coffin GIFs | Tenor

It may be cliche…..It may have been done before….especially on this site….but I rise from the depths of the pit I’ve been skulking around in for the past….

Well, maybe we don’t count the days…….

………Okay, 16 months, 12 days, and whatever hours, minutes, and seconds….as of the writing of this post.

Surely, I was busy with so many amazing things. Surely, I wasn’t just staring at my computer screen contemplating what has become of and will become of existence and the world and the universe and everything.

Surely, not….

……….Okay, maybe not mostly that. But I was working. I was DOING things.

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I worked on my first theater production after two years of being dark (closed in theater terms). Disney’s Newsies, if you were curious. It was amazing and weird being back doing what I love.

Amazing to be back doing theater….but weird because we had to wear masks every day and take Covid tests multiple times a week. We even had a couple actors and our choreographer test positive during the rehearsals, but luckily we were able to make it through without a wave of positive tests moving through the cast and crew.

We made it through our three weeks of performances and it was amazing. The cast was amazing, the crew was amazing, and it was amazing to be working.

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And that was the last show the theater company planned for the year…hooray.

I worked on my writing and am still working on my third book…the rush of creativity and excitement at being published quickly wore off as I realized my theater career was, essentially, over (more on this in a moment). Thank the gods my publisher is very patient and forgiving and is giving me the time I need to get back into my writing zone…for now.

Surprisingly, it’s very hard to write a fantasy book when your real life feels like it’s tumbling down all around you and there’s nothing you can do about it because you tried to be loyal to a company you truly believed in and turned down other opportunities to be fully available and then the company you tried to be loyal to cancels the rest of their season.

It’s also weird because this is the second theater company I’ve been apart of, put a lot of my time and energy into…and now it’s gone. Well, it’s not ACTUALLY gone…it’s just not doing any shows…and there are rumors it may be bought by another theater company I’ve done a little work with but will probably not want to hire me for future shows cause they don’t KNOW me, but that’s a whole other rabbit hole to go down at another time.

Enough of this. Let’s talk about something positive………

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I tested positive for Covid-19 on Tuesday, September 6th, 2022. That’s right, the RONA got me!! I’m actually surprised it took this long. Really, I had symptoms beginning Sunday, September 4th but I was in denial…and out of state.

Full disclosure. I was in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma from September 1-5 for a writer’s conference. Now, I can neither confirm nor deny, prove or disprove whether I went to the conference ALREADY infected or if I was infected AT the conference….or on the plane TO the conference…but it doesn’t matter now. I wore my mask on the planes like a good little girl and made the choice to take it off AT the conference.

Though it didn’t help to have my flight from Phoenix, AZ to Cali cancelled at 8pm at night and having to spend a surprise evening in Phoenix until the next available flight home the following day at 3pm. Fun fact, the reason the flight was cancelled was because the airport we were planning on flying into has a curfew…and our plane was delayed two hours….past the curfew…so they cancelled it…cool.

Anybut, the point is I’m no longer a Covid ninja, a Covid avoider, a lucky bitch who managed to avoid the virus by sheer stubbornness to ever take my mask off and wash my hands after someone even LOOKS at them.

My fever didn’t break until Friday, I still have a nasty cough that won’t leave me alone, and once my fever broke I lost my taste. Which losing taste is the strangest ting of all. I didn’t even realize it had happened until I took the first bite of my favorite meal and the realization that I couldn’t taste it slowly dawned on me.

I’m vaccinated and have one booster. So it could’ve been worse and I’m thankful my symptoms weren’t worse or that I ended up in the hospital.

I’m also EXTREMELY thankful it happened now and not in a few weeks.

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Remember how I talked about my theater job essentially being…over? Well, I guess my notorious indifferent luck decided it would do me a solid and I received a message from one of my close friends. They wanted to call me.

Now, this is a frightening message to an introvert like me. Call? Like talking on the phone? Why can’t we text? I didn’t have as many of my crazy thoughts as I usually do when someone asks to talk on the phone, mostly because I know my friend KNOWS I’m not a phone talker. So I, more quickly than normal, say hell yeah.

We talk and she offers me a job on a show for the Holiday season. A show with a Stage Manager who I had just finished working with on Newsies.

So of course I say, Hell Yeah! Okay, not those words cause it was technically a professional call so I was a lot more appropriate even though I know my friend wouldn’t have cared if I said hell yeah, but I am a professional and she’s a professional and we….are…PROFESSIONAL!

Luckily, the show doesn’t begin rehearsals until end of October which gives me plenty of time to clear out the Covid coursing through my body and lord knows the mask will never leave my face again…in public. Cause in theater world you’re basically out for a week and for rehearsals…that’s a lot of missed work that is very difficult to catch back up on.

I’m excited to be given the opportunity to work on a show. I know how difficult it becomes to get work in this industry when those who were your links into the industry no longer participate in the industry…or are no longer with us. But I’m not ready to discuss that latter part. Maybe I will be someday…but not today.

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Wow, that was a lot and yet not everything but I know no one wants to read anything this long let alone longer. I’m sure I’ll find time to discuss the other things that happened since my last…check in? post? glimpse behind the curtain?

Does this mean I’m back for a consistent posting schedule. No. But I will do my best to maybe check in every now and then…especially with some interesting ideas rattling around in my brain.

I for sure want to talk about the writers conference I went to because I think it’s interesting and I’m sure other folks would think it’s interesting, too. Especially if there are any aspiring writers out there. So, I guess, if you’re interested, keep an eye out for that? Though I’m not sure when that will materialize.

If you’ve made it this far…thank you. I had so many plans for this blog when I started it. I had so many ideas. Depression is a hell of a thing. Don’t recommend it personally. But I’m also not ready to talk about that today.

Thank you for reading.

OH! I also am still on Twitch. If you’re interested. My channel is Twitch.tv/luddiewig

What to Do…?

Wondering what I should post about in the next few weeks…

Should I try doing more random lists? Should I post random true stories? Should I talk about my in progress second book in my fantasy series?

I just don’t know.

I’ll play around with some ideas and hopefully have an answer soon…

Until then, I hope everyone enjoyed my spooky ooky season lists. I had a lot of fun remembering some of the films and trying a new style of post…that other sites have probably been doing forever…but hey! It was still fun.

Anybut, this was sort of an update/random thought post. More for me than anyone else.

Cliche Smeeshay

I have to get this off my chest.

I love cliches….okay SOME cliches. There are still some cliches that drive me up the wall.

But usually the cliches that tick me off are the ones involving winks to the audience. I can stand a couple in a book….but if there’s one every other page…I kind of want to throw the book against the wall.

There are exceptions. Ready Player One was bearable. But if you’re trying to entice your audience into enjoying a story by referencing things…with no relation to the story, just kind of as a nudge nudge wink wink moment, no thank you.

Other cliches I don’t mind. I don’t mind the parent/guardian being dead or dying a the beginning. I don’t mind the familial relation reveal (if handled well, obviously). I don’t mind the love triangle or will they won’t they story lines.

I could go on…but I won’t. Otherwise this post will be far too long.

I guess the point of this post is really to say…everyone is different. Cliches may be overdone, but there’s a reason.

Also, sorry, there truthfully aren’t that many ways to write stories that won’t annoy some people while others love it.

Random Updates

It has been [insert number of days] since my last post….yes leaving the brackets is intentional.

SOOOOO….here are some random updates:

1. My work (theater) is gone until next year. Expected, but still a bummer.

2. Hair update (ignore the random redness on my chest…I was in the sun too long and because I’m sooo damn pale…I ACTUALLY got a small sunburn…yes, really):

Before: After:

I was able to go in to get my hair done. Didn’t schedule a next appointment cuz who knows what’s going to happen in 8 weeks (which is my usual time between appointments). Everyone was very on the up and up with masks and social distancing.

3. I have BIG news coming soon…very soon…SO if you don’t follow me on Twitter…you should. Or else you won’t hear my big news. You can follow me @J_A_Ludwig

4. I used my $1200 stimulus check to buy me a new Switch and finally jumped on the Animal Crossing New Horizons bandwagon. My island isn’t ready for visitors yet, but maybe once it is I’ll show some pics.

That’s about it for updates…yes really. Hopefully in the next few days, I’ll be doing some more stuff. We shall see.

Personality Flaw?

What does it say about me that I have a much larger panic attack when someone asks me to make a decision versus someone giving me constructive criticism?

I mean, the latter is literally someone taking something I’ve been working on for almost 10 years and giving it the middle school english teacher treatment…you know…the red pen of editing death!

Overdramatic, I know.

HOWEVER! That doesn’t send the shock of terror and embarrassment up my spine as much as someone asking for my opinion and to make a decision.

WHAT IS THIS?! WHAT IS THIS ODDITY?!

Anybut…I’m procrastinating right now.

………..After procrastinating from the site for 2 weeks…gow, my procrastination needs a little work.

Hypocrisy of My Social Media

I am a millennial. I am a connoisseur of the social medias.

But I am awful at communication. Having conversations with people gives me panic attacks.

I literally won’t respond to someone after a few minutes pass because I feel like it’s been too long and if I respond then it will be annoying to the other person and I don’t want to bother them.

HOWEVER! I get upset when things I post on the social medias get no responses.

HYPOCRISY! I KNOW!

I understand those who are successful are that way because they build communities and that requires being responsive to said community.

But at the same time that also leads to communities being overly close to the person they follow without ever truly knowing them. This is what leads to the toxic communities that feel the need to defend the one they’re fans of from others in (sometimes) very dangerous ways.

But maybe I’m overthinking everything….like I always do…

Anybut, that’s my hypocrisy with social media…specifically my own.

I’m Bad at This

290th post.

I’ve always been bad at keeping up with things. I’d hoped this site would be different. But once again I’ve proven that I can’t be consistent.

Does this mean I’m giving up on this blog?

No.

I was able to post something every day for 138 days last year. Can I ever accomplish such a feat AGAIN?!

Probably.

But not right now. With everything going on in the world, in my life, and just overall…I really had nothing to post.

Some people are finding this troubling time is making it easier for them to be productive/able to do things they normally wouldn’t have time for…

Honestly, good for them. I’m glad so many unique things are happening for others.

For me…this whole thing has made me realize my own fears. My fears of being successful that prevent me from striving for more or what everyone keeps telling me I deserve. My fears of failure that prevent me from even trying new and terrifying things. My fears of imposter syndrome that convince me if I never strive for more then I can’t let people down.

I’m trapped with the person I hate in this world the most. Me. Not all of me. Just the part where all the fears live.

She’s a real bitch.

I know this is a selfish post. People are sick. People are dying. People are terrorizing each other. People are struggling through all of this with no homes. No families to help them.

And here I am. Watching it happen and not knowing what to do.

Nothing will ever be the same.

Yes, I watched Tiger King

I watched it. I liked it.

It only really shocked me twice. The first time was due to footage of someone post tiger attack (not too graphic, but I mean you could pretty much see what happened).

The second time was the footage of a man who witnessed another man shoot himself in the head.

The second one was far more shocking. I actually didn’t expect it, but also DID expect it as they led up to the event.

All the twists and turns were played up a bit, but at the same time…EVERY SINGLE PERSON was shady as hell. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM!

Whatever the true story (or stories) is, I did enjoy binge watching the entire series.

That’s all.