Tag Archives: random

What to Do…?

Wondering what I should post about in the next few weeks…

Should I try doing more random lists? Should I post random true stories? Should I talk about my in progress second book in my fantasy series?

I just don’t know.

I’ll play around with some ideas and hopefully have an answer soon…

Until then, I hope everyone enjoyed my spooky ooky season lists. I had a lot of fun remembering some of the films and trying a new style of post…that other sites have probably been doing forever…but hey! It was still fun.

Anybut, this was sort of an update/random thought post. More for me than anyone else.

Cliche Smeeshay

I have to get this off my chest.

I love cliches….okay SOME cliches. There are still some cliches that drive me up the wall.

But usually the cliches that tick me off are the ones involving winks to the audience. I can stand a couple in a book….but if there’s one every other page…I kind of want to throw the book against the wall.

There are exceptions. Ready Player One was bearable. But if you’re trying to entice your audience into enjoying a story by referencing things…with no relation to the story, just kind of as a nudge nudge wink wink moment, no thank you.

Other cliches I don’t mind. I don’t mind the parent/guardian being dead or dying a the beginning. I don’t mind the familial relation reveal (if handled well, obviously). I don’t mind the love triangle or will they won’t they story lines.

I could go on…but I won’t. Otherwise this post will be far too long.

I guess the point of this post is really to say…everyone is different. Cliches may be overdone, but there’s a reason.

Also, sorry, there truthfully aren’t that many ways to write stories that won’t annoy some people while others love it.

Random Updates

It has been [insert number of days] since my last post….yes leaving the brackets is intentional.

SOOOOO….here are some random updates:

1. My work (theater) is gone until next year. Expected, but still a bummer.

2. Hair update (ignore the random redness on my chest…I was in the sun too long and because I’m sooo damn pale…I ACTUALLY got a small sunburn…yes, really):

Before: After:

I was able to go in to get my hair done. Didn’t schedule a next appointment cuz who knows what’s going to happen in 8 weeks (which is my usual time between appointments). Everyone was very on the up and up with masks and social distancing.

3. I have BIG news coming soon…very soon…SO if you don’t follow me on Twitter…you should. Or else you won’t hear my big news. You can follow me @J_A_Ludwig

4. I used my $1200 stimulus check to buy me a new Switch and finally jumped on the Animal Crossing New Horizons bandwagon. My island isn’t ready for visitors yet, but maybe once it is I’ll show some pics.

That’s about it for updates…yes really. Hopefully in the next few days, I’ll be doing some more stuff. We shall see.

Personality Flaw?

What does it say about me that I have a much larger panic attack when someone asks me to make a decision versus someone giving me constructive criticism?

I mean, the latter is literally someone taking something I’ve been working on for almost 10 years and giving it the middle school english teacher treatment…you know…the red pen of editing death!

Overdramatic, I know.

HOWEVER! That doesn’t send the shock of terror and embarrassment up my spine as much as someone asking for my opinion and to make a decision.

WHAT IS THIS?! WHAT IS THIS ODDITY?!

Anybut…I’m procrastinating right now.

………..After procrastinating from the site for 2 weeks…gow, my procrastination needs a little work.

Hypocrisy of My Social Media

I am a millennial. I am a connoisseur of the social medias.

But I am awful at communication. Having conversations with people gives me panic attacks.

I literally won’t respond to someone after a few minutes pass because I feel like it’s been too long and if I respond then it will be annoying to the other person and I don’t want to bother them.

HOWEVER! I get upset when things I post on the social medias get no responses.

HYPOCRISY! I KNOW!

I understand those who are successful are that way because they build communities and that requires being responsive to said community.

But at the same time that also leads to communities being overly close to the person they follow without ever truly knowing them. This is what leads to the toxic communities that feel the need to defend the one they’re fans of from others in (sometimes) very dangerous ways.

But maybe I’m overthinking everything….like I always do…

Anybut, that’s my hypocrisy with social media…specifically my own.

I’m Bad at This

290th post.

I’ve always been bad at keeping up with things. I’d hoped this site would be different. But once again I’ve proven that I can’t be consistent.

Does this mean I’m giving up on this blog?

No.

I was able to post something every day for 138 days last year. Can I ever accomplish such a feat AGAIN?!

Probably.

But not right now. With everything going on in the world, in my life, and just overall…I really had nothing to post.

Some people are finding this troubling time is making it easier for them to be productive/able to do things they normally wouldn’t have time for…

Honestly, good for them. I’m glad so many unique things are happening for others.

For me…this whole thing has made me realize my own fears. My fears of being successful that prevent me from striving for more or what everyone keeps telling me I deserve. My fears of failure that prevent me from even trying new and terrifying things. My fears of imposter syndrome that convince me if I never strive for more then I can’t let people down.

I’m trapped with the person I hate in this world the most. Me. Not all of me. Just the part where all the fears live.

She’s a real bitch.

I know this is a selfish post. People are sick. People are dying. People are terrorizing each other. People are struggling through all of this with no homes. No families to help them.

And here I am. Watching it happen and not knowing what to do.

Nothing will ever be the same.

Yes, I watched Tiger King

I watched it. I liked it.

It only really shocked me twice. The first time was due to footage of someone post tiger attack (not too graphic, but I mean you could pretty much see what happened).

The second time was the footage of a man who witnessed another man shoot himself in the head.

The second one was far more shocking. I actually didn’t expect it, but also DID expect it as they led up to the event.

All the twists and turns were played up a bit, but at the same time…EVERY SINGLE PERSON was shady as hell. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM!

Whatever the true story (or stories) is, I did enjoy binge watching the entire series.

That’s all.

Gonna Get Real

I’m an introvert.

I spend a lot of time at home. I don’t like going out, really.

But I do go out to work. To get money so I can continue to have the introvert time…

And while the joke going around is that introverts are in heaven right now…..I’m not.

Due to the nature of my (personal situation) theater work, I have difficulty finding a “real” job to cover the time I’m not working.

There was already rumblings about next season being the make it or break it season for the theater company I work for…leaning heavily on the break it.

There is a high possibility…I won’t have a theater job to come back to…

This is a hard day. Guilt. Anxiety. They’re getting bored with the quarantine and are taking it out on me.

All I can do…is distract myself during the day…for the rest of this pandemic.

But even the distractions are starting to become…less distracting.

Anybut, I just needed to get this off my chest. Sometimes writing it out…purges it from my system. At the very least, this will free me up for a couple more days.

Stay safe everyone. Talk to those you love.

And for the love of all that is still good in this world…be smart and remember we’re all in this together. One way or another.