Life Soundtrack

Do you ever just get random songs stuck in your head? Or better yet, random parts of songs just playing over and over?

I did an experiment when I was in college. Every time one of these moments occurred, I would write the song down. Every time. I literally had pages of random songs written down.

If I can find one I’ll post a pic here.

Anybut, the reason I’m bringing this up is for two reasons. The first, because I woke up this morning with a song repeating in my head. (Secret by The Pierces if you were wondering)

The second reason I decided to bring this up is because when I first did it in college I joked about how it was a real life soundtrack. And that got me wondering a stupid thought.

Do you know that fun fact about dreams? Before TV was in color people used to dream in black and white…or something like that? I always thought that was ridiculous. Why would TV have such an impression when, you know, the world is in color (unless of course you are one of the millions who suffer from a version of color blindness, but even then the TV would still appear the same as the world around you…or something).

I thought since music is so readily available and used in films and ads and tv shows and as ambience, is that why songs get stuck in our heads? I know one of the major pulls of music is to be catchy so people want to buy it, but did people back in the times before music was so readily available get songs stuck in their heads in the same way?

Has the idea of soundtracks for storytelling created this part of the brain that feels like emphasizing our actual lives with music?

Just a thought…as I also sit here listening to the same 40 seconds of a song over and over…Roxanne from the stage musical version of Moulin Rouge with Aaron Tveit…

….if you were wondering.

Happy New Year! 2023

It’s a new year….It’s a new beginning….It’s 2023!!

I ended 2022 working on one of the many Christmas Carols being performed across the country. I was backstage where I feel comfortable in the dark and away from hundreds of eyes watching me. I rang in the new year sore, but content with the work I did.

I also rang in the new year with a trip to Barnes & Noble to do a little end of the year book buying. I could tell y’all what I got, but 1/2 of the purchase was more journals (cuz I LOVE journals…even if I never fill them) and all but 2 of the books I bought are pure guilty pleasures for me which apparently isn’t allowed when it comes to reading books….huh. Weird that.

Do I have large ambitions for 2023? No. Because that’s unattainable and will only lead to be disappointing myself. I’m keeping it simple this year.

So without further stalling/need to fill this post out a little, here are my goals for this year:

1. Try to post at least twice a month here
2. Drink more water
3. Read more books

That’s it. There are larger goals, but they aren’t ones I’m committing to because they’re mostly dependent on outside forces.

So yeah, that’s all I’ve got. Hope y’all have a fantastic 2023 filled with success (whatever that means to you and doesn’t matter how small) and kindness (cuz we ALL need that right now).

She rises from the depths….

Vampire Rising From Coffin GIFs | Tenor

It may be cliche…..It may have been done before….especially on this site….but I rise from the depths of the pit I’ve been skulking around in for the past….

Well, maybe we don’t count the days…….

………Okay, 16 months, 12 days, and whatever hours, minutes, and seconds….as of the writing of this post.

Surely, I was busy with so many amazing things. Surely, I wasn’t just staring at my computer screen contemplating what has become of and will become of existence and the world and the universe and everything.

Surely, not….

……….Okay, maybe not mostly that. But I was working. I was DOING things.

.

.

I worked on my first theater production after two years of being dark (closed in theater terms). Disney’s Newsies, if you were curious. It was amazing and weird being back doing what I love.

Amazing to be back doing theater….but weird because we had to wear masks every day and take Covid tests multiple times a week. We even had a couple actors and our choreographer test positive during the rehearsals, but luckily we were able to make it through without a wave of positive tests moving through the cast and crew.

We made it through our three weeks of performances and it was amazing. The cast was amazing, the crew was amazing, and it was amazing to be working.

.

.

And that was the last show the theater company planned for the year…hooray.

I worked on my writing and am still working on my third book…the rush of creativity and excitement at being published quickly wore off as I realized my theater career was, essentially, over (more on this in a moment). Thank the gods my publisher is very patient and forgiving and is giving me the time I need to get back into my writing zone…for now.

Surprisingly, it’s very hard to write a fantasy book when your real life feels like it’s tumbling down all around you and there’s nothing you can do about it because you tried to be loyal to a company you truly believed in and turned down other opportunities to be fully available and then the company you tried to be loyal to cancels the rest of their season.

It’s also weird because this is the second theater company I’ve been apart of, put a lot of my time and energy into…and now it’s gone. Well, it’s not ACTUALLY gone…it’s just not doing any shows…and there are rumors it may be bought by another theater company I’ve done a little work with but will probably not want to hire me for future shows cause they don’t KNOW me, but that’s a whole other rabbit hole to go down at another time.

Enough of this. Let’s talk about something positive………

.

.

I tested positive for Covid-19 on Tuesday, September 6th, 2022. That’s right, the RONA got me!! I’m actually surprised it took this long. Really, I had symptoms beginning Sunday, September 4th but I was in denial…and out of state.

Full disclosure. I was in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma from September 1-5 for a writer’s conference. Now, I can neither confirm nor deny, prove or disprove whether I went to the conference ALREADY infected or if I was infected AT the conference….or on the plane TO the conference…but it doesn’t matter now. I wore my mask on the planes like a good little girl and made the choice to take it off AT the conference.

Though it didn’t help to have my flight from Phoenix, AZ to Cali cancelled at 8pm at night and having to spend a surprise evening in Phoenix until the next available flight home the following day at 3pm. Fun fact, the reason the flight was cancelled was because the airport we were planning on flying into has a curfew…and our plane was delayed two hours….past the curfew…so they cancelled it…cool.

Anybut, the point is I’m no longer a Covid ninja, a Covid avoider, a lucky bitch who managed to avoid the virus by sheer stubbornness to ever take my mask off and wash my hands after someone even LOOKS at them.

My fever didn’t break until Friday, I still have a nasty cough that won’t leave me alone, and once my fever broke I lost my taste. Which losing taste is the strangest ting of all. I didn’t even realize it had happened until I took the first bite of my favorite meal and the realization that I couldn’t taste it slowly dawned on me.

I’m vaccinated and have one booster. So it could’ve been worse and I’m thankful my symptoms weren’t worse or that I ended up in the hospital.

I’m also EXTREMELY thankful it happened now and not in a few weeks.

.

.

Remember how I talked about my theater job essentially being…over? Well, I guess my notorious indifferent luck decided it would do me a solid and I received a message from one of my close friends. They wanted to call me.

Now, this is a frightening message to an introvert like me. Call? Like talking on the phone? Why can’t we text? I didn’t have as many of my crazy thoughts as I usually do when someone asks to talk on the phone, mostly because I know my friend KNOWS I’m not a phone talker. So I, more quickly than normal, say hell yeah.

We talk and she offers me a job on a show for the Holiday season. A show with a Stage Manager who I had just finished working with on Newsies.

So of course I say, Hell Yeah! Okay, not those words cause it was technically a professional call so I was a lot more appropriate even though I know my friend wouldn’t have cared if I said hell yeah, but I am a professional and she’s a professional and we….are…PROFESSIONAL!

Luckily, the show doesn’t begin rehearsals until end of October which gives me plenty of time to clear out the Covid coursing through my body and lord knows the mask will never leave my face again…in public. Cause in theater world you’re basically out for a week and for rehearsals…that’s a lot of missed work that is very difficult to catch back up on.

I’m excited to be given the opportunity to work on a show. I know how difficult it becomes to get work in this industry when those who were your links into the industry no longer participate in the industry…or are no longer with us. But I’m not ready to discuss that latter part. Maybe I will be someday…but not today.

.

.

Wow, that was a lot and yet not everything but I know no one wants to read anything this long let alone longer. I’m sure I’ll find time to discuss the other things that happened since my last…check in? post? glimpse behind the curtain?

Does this mean I’m back for a consistent posting schedule. No. But I will do my best to maybe check in every now and then…especially with some interesting ideas rattling around in my brain.

I for sure want to talk about the writers conference I went to because I think it’s interesting and I’m sure other folks would think it’s interesting, too. Especially if there are any aspiring writers out there. So, I guess, if you’re interested, keep an eye out for that? Though I’m not sure when that will materialize.

If you’ve made it this far…thank you. I had so many plans for this blog when I started it. I had so many ideas. Depression is a hell of a thing. Don’t recommend it personally. But I’m also not ready to talk about that today.

Thank you for reading.

OH! I also am still on Twitch. If you’re interested. My channel is Twitch.tv/luddiewig

Shameless Self Promotion!

Today is a big day!

For those who don’t know, last year I published the first book in my fantasy series!

Well, today the second book is NOW AVAILABLE TO BUY!!

If you want to check it out, you can click HERE!

If you want to check out the first book, you can click HERE!

If you aren’t interested then disregard this post and have a fabulous rest of your week!

Welp…

Just found out today that my theater job won’t be back until next YEAR (2022) at the earliest…and I’m gonna have to be okay with that.

However, that most likely means that by the time it comes back…I may not be able to do it…since I’ll probably be working full time somewhere that won’t let me take the time off to work on a theater show…

And I’m gonna have to be okay with that.

I’ll keep working on my book series (Book 2 is now available for pre-order btw…I’ve been dropping the ball on promotion because losing my job and still being unable to get scheduled for a vaccine and searching for a new job and realizing that I’ve wasted so much time spiraling deeper and deeper into anxiety and depression…make it VERY difficult to get excited for pretty much everything).

I’ve started randomly streaming on Twitch trying to distract myself from the aforementioned spiral…though I can only handle 2 hours and not every day streaming. (If you’re curious, I play Monster Hunter Generations Ultimate, not well, because I’m obsessed with that game since Monster Hunter World is done with new monsters and Monster Hunter Rise is releasing later this month)

But overall…I’m just trying to hold up the small bit of positivity I can find.

So, here’s a link if you’re interested in pre-ordering my new book (CLICK HERE)…but if you aren’t that’s fine, too. If you want to check out the FIRST book in the series here’s a link to that, too (CLICK HERE).

And if you care/know about Twitch and are tempted to see someone play a game poorly with meh commentary…you can check out my stream HERE. As of right now I stream Monday & Wednesday at 2pm pst and Friday & Saturday at 7pm pst. Since I learned of my job’s fate…I may start streaming more in hopes to maybe make it a viable way to make some side money….just depends on what happens with the work situation.

ANYBUT!!! Sorry for a not interesting/funny post…but I needed to get this out to help me process that even though everything ELSE is going back to normal….my entire career path has been basically blown to smithereens…but again…..it’s mostly my own fault.

BUT I’ll survive. I’ll find a new job and I’ll keep trucking along.

A Serious Note

Someone I greatly respected passed away over the weekend.

He was a hard worker. He was an inspiration. He was someone who could work with anyone and bring out the best in others. He knew how to bring laughter to stressful days. He was a professional with so much to teach.

When we worked together there was no question he would fight for everyone. When he was crew chief there was no question the crew would be phenomenal. When he was working a show there was no question the show would be phenomenal.

He leaves behind his fantastic family (who I was fortunate to meet many times), his loyal crew, and so many others who knew him, loved him, and will take everything he taught us forever forward through our lives.

As he would say before every single show:

Oh lord. Please don’t let me fuck up. Never give up. Never surrender. And may the force be with you. Have a great show.

I’m sorry, Russ. This is the one time I can’t keep to our crew motto: You go, I go. You went, but I still have work to do here. But I’ll keep your spirit with me through every show and every hard day.

Update Feb. 20th 2021

In regards to my previous post: The smoke was most likely due to a manure fire many, many miles away from where I live…so that’s good.

I’ve been working on my second book in my fantasy series…and hopefully it will be coming out in March…hopefully.

My theater job is still closed (since March of last year so approaching 1 year anniversary of no theater…yay -_-). I’ve been doing a few odd jobs, but if things keep going this way…well, you all know (especially if you’re in the USA).

My anxiety, depression, and surprise paranoia are all getting along with each other…just not with me, but my kitten is keeping me grounded with nightly and morning cuddles.

That’s all for now…cause I can’t think of anything else interesting enough to mention. Just checking in.

Is that Smoke?

So, yeah, it’s around 4 am and I have yet to go to sleep…not from lack of trying, I assure you.

Around 3:30 am (really a little bit before that but close enough), as I prepared to finally attempt to fall asleep, my nose was greeted with an interesting scent.

Smoke.

Now…I live in Southern California….you don’t really want to ever smell smoke in the middle of the night…but it isn’t an overwhelming smell…just…there.

I bounced from window to window to see if I could find the source, noticing the smell was definitely coming from outside since our house isn’t exactly airtight. I could smell it stronger when the wind blew outside and through the not airtight windows.

But I couldn’t see the source.

Though, there was a strange light across the street where there usually isn’t a light. So, that was weird. But it turned off about 5ish minutes ago.

Also, no fire trucks or any signs of first responders. Therefor, I can only conclude the smoke I’m smelling is from a fire a good distance away….and I hope it stays that way.

Of course, now I can’t sleep cause the smell is still here and my paranoia is kicking in and I think that’s it for sleeping tonight.

AND in all honesty…..it’s probably just somebody having a bonfire night or something….on a Wednesday evening/very early Thursday morning….sure. It could happen.

As of 11:10 pm on January 26th

Just checking in….

As my day of birth comes to an end…I really, truly, undoubtedly, not surprisingly….forgot how old I was.

Is this a common theme with everyone following their 30th birthday? I actually had to DO THE MATH to remember how old I am now today on this sunny California day…………..

Sorry, had to pause again to do the math AGAIN to remember that I turned 32 years old.

God, I hate math…

Random Pic

I tested 2021 and it, in fact, brought it on…and now I regret everything. Therefore, to appease the 2021 gods, I present a wholesome picture to cease bringing it on…please.

Here’s a picture of our neighbor’s dog and his new best friend.

What were they looking at? Why, me and my good boy Lele.

They were just jealous they weren’t getting any cuddles.

Please, 2021 gods…cease the bringing it on. I will not mock you again…maybe.

%d bloggers like this: