2020 is done.
2021 has begun.
2020 is done.
2021 has begun.
Well……….that didn’t take long.
I said I’d attempt to post something every day and managed to last…two days?
High five to ME!
But I guess in order to make this post at least worth reading……
The holiday season can be a time of joy…but for some it can also be a dark time.
This time of year is notorious for raising anxiety and depression amongst many people. This particular year will probably be adding even more to that…cause it was this year.
Check in with friends and family. Even a short message or a simple “Happy Holidays” will suffice.
This year has been a rough and tough and just overall shitty year for everyone. But maybe the last couple of weeks could be the beginning of a more positive year…fingers crossed.
I probably won’t remember to post tomorrow or the next day…but I’ll try my best.
My birthday is in January…I know, I know. That doesn’t really count as a “Holiday memory”…but I’m going to include this story because it was the end of an era.
When I left Indiana for college in California, my parents retired and moved to Maui, HI. When I could, I would visit for Christmas (the only times I didn’t when I had to work).
Anybut, in 2016, my parents moved back to the mainland. So, for the last time I’d visit before their move, we went whale watching. We’ve done it many times throughout the years, but this was special.
Not only was it the last whale watching we’d probably ever do in Maui, it was the last time I’d probably ever visit the island…it’s expensive to fly out there and stay in a hotel.
I really loved whale watching because even if you didn’t see a lot of whales, you always saw SOMETHING. We didn’t expect anything like what we witnessed.
The boat we were on easily found a whale and we followed it, thinking we’d lose track of it in no time.
Then we got SURROUNDED! I mean there were four or five whales that appeared from outta nowhere. The captain had to shut off the engine (humpbacks are an endangered species and large boats are required to turn their engines off when within a certain distance).
Long story short…I got a selfie with a whale.
My parents like to joke that this was Hawaii giving them a farewell gift.
Before I show video, I should preface with this: I’ve gone whale watching many times in Maui…but this was the first time this EVER happened to us. Even the captain of the boat stopped what he was doing to get some pictures.
Here are videos of how close these buggers got (I apologize for any weird sounds as I adjust my grip on my phone so it doesn’t fall into the ocean):
Also, apologies if I’ve already posted about this…but it’s still one of the most amazing things I’ve ever experienced.
It’s December and it’s time for some random Holiday-ness.
I’m not 100% sure what to do this year so I thought I’d attempt, keyword attempt, to do something every day until January 1st…I make no promises, but I will do my best.
And to make this something besides an announcement/introduction post…here’s a random fact:
Every year for the past 3 years I helped prepare and fix props for touring productions of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer the Musical.
That’s not the fun fact. The fun fact is that if you’ve ever seen this randomly touring show in the US, I want you to know that means you are one degree of separation from me…creepy, right?
Anybut, needless to say this year the touring shows have been cancelled and therefore I didn’t have the honor of repainting two dozen chairs, two large tables, so many ladders, toys, tools, repairing tinsel jumpropes (yes, really), a number of instruments, or re-wrapping HUNDREDS (okay, not hundreds…but a LOT) of presents.
I’m sad…but also a little relieved. Nothing makes you want to never see another piece of wrapping paper like wrapping over four dozen empty boxes every year before December.
I’m sad for the performers, technicians, and production personnel who look forward to this touring show and hopefully, it will be back next year…hopefully.
Wondering what I should post about in the next few weeks…
Should I try doing more random lists? Should I post random true stories? Should I talk about my in progress second book in my fantasy series?
I just don’t know.
I’ll play around with some ideas and hopefully have an answer soon…
Until then, I hope everyone enjoyed my spooky ooky season lists. I had a lot of fun remembering some of the films and trying a new style of post…that other sites have probably been doing forever…but hey! It was still fun.
Anybut, this was sort of an update/random thought post. More for me than anyone else.
I love horror movies. I really do.
I have a tradition every Halloween (whether I’m invited to parties or not) to watch the same horror movies.
I intersperse new horror movies every year, but there are always a few that I HAVE to watch every year.
So here are my TOP 10 Horror Movies I have to watch EVERY YEAR!!!
(In no particular order)
10. Children of the Corn
Consider this the necessary Stephen King entry. It could be ANY Stephen King film, but Children of the Corn has a special place in my heart. It’s the one I love watching over and over. I love the cheese, I love the effects, and I LOVE when Malachi yells “OUTLANDER! WE HAVE YOUR WOMAN!” Don’t go into this necessarily expecting scares, but it’s definitely a fun watch.
9. A Tale of Two Sisters
This film still terrifies me. It’s a Korean film from 2003 and it still holds up to horror films coming out now. There is an American remake of it….but we’re going to pretend that doesn’t exist. If you aren’t used to Asian films this may not be the one for you. There are terrifying images, frightening twists, and an ending that if you aren’t prepared for literally BLOWS your mind!
French films in horror are masterclasses. They basically invented the torture porn genre…this film isn’t that. But it IS a fun blend of Sci-fi, horror, and comedy. It takes place in an apocalyptic future where meat is rare and a former clown takes a job in an apartment complex above a Delicatessen (a butcher shop). I mean that description alone should be enough. I love this film, but be prepared for subtitles and a bit of violence.
ANOTHER movie from outside of America?! You bet your ass! This time we’re heading to Spain (Barcelona in fact) for a found footage style film that also had an American remake…..and again we’re going to pretend it doesn’t exist. This one offers an English dub over the original Spanish actors so if subtitles scare you away, now there’s no excuse. The premise is a news team is following a group of fire men on night calls when they get trapped inside a building with a rare disease that turns people into zombies. Highly recommended.
6. Evil Dead
All right, I’m cheating a little bit. This entry is for all of the Evil Dead movies (not including the 2013 remake though that IS a good movie, too). I can’t get through Halloween without some Ash Williams. It’s campy, it’s gory, it’s all around FUN!! I love these movies!!
5. The Thing
This movie terrified me as a child. But now it holds a special place in my heart since I got to see John Carpenter talk about the making of this film at my college. The practical effects are still some of the best ever put to film and still hold up against modern day CGI…BETTER even! I love this film and it’s always a must-watch every season.
4. Friday the 13th
The first one. I love the fun kills from the entire series, but the original Friday the 13th still, in my opinion, is the best one. See where it all began with a series that will NEVER die.
This film is definitely one of those, ‘you either love it or hate it’, deals. I love it. The “creature” is never explained, but it is VERY cool, in my opinion. The effects are gross and the story is meh, but it grows on you and it’s become a definite must watch for me.
What’s a Halloween horror movie list without Halloween, eh? Like Friday the 13th, I’m sticking with the original all the way. Others in the series and a number of remakes have added a lot to this story, but the simplicity of the original is close to perfection.
Another master of horror graces this list. Clive Barker is another filmmaker who knows what he’s doing. Hellraiser is another classic with amazing effects. Who else would think of rebuilding a human body one meaty, boney bit at a time? Seriously the scene where a man starts as a little bloody splotch and regrows into a skinless body is so gruesomely beautiful.
This is the part of the list where I mention some Honorable Mentions. These films are modern classics that have been added to my must-watch list. I have five for you:
1. Cabin in the Woods
I mean it’s like Scream. It takes all the cliches and tropes of horror films and puts them all through a comedic, yet still terrifying, lens.
2. Paranormal Activity
Okay, hear me out. Sometimes you just want to watch ghosts messing around with people. Did it go a little crazy as more came out in the series? Yes, but I still think the ghost in the sheet in the second film was the scariest part of the entire franchise.
3. The Ritual
A British film that I understand can drag a little. But I love the idea of it and the monster at the center of the terror is so cool!!
4. The Autopsy of Jane Doe
It all takes place in a coroner’s office. And there’s a mystery to be solved!! Such a fantastic film that will definitely be a classic.
5. Shudder & Crypt TV
All right, all right, this is 100% a cheat and a little bit of a, not paid, promotion. Shudder is a streaming service that is ALL about horror. From the classics (Cannibal Holocaust, Fall of the House of Usher, etc.) to original movies and TV shows (Cursed Films, Host, etc.), Shudder has a large collection of horror to get anyone through Halloween. Crypt TV is free and you can check out their stuff on YouTube as well as their website. They are masters of creating new monsters and horrors including The Birch and The Look-See. Definitely one to check out!!
Again, not paid to promote, I just really enjoy Shudder and Crypt TV.
There it is. My Must Watch Horror Movies for Halloween. If there were movies missing that are must-watches for you every year make sure to comment!!!
You could argue Horror is in a renaissance in recent years…or you could argue it’s in a second or third renaissance…whatever.
Though no one can deny the past 10 years have given rise to many spectacular horror films that are going to be classics for years to come. This Halloween Eve I shall list 25 in order of release year.
We’ve got a lot of films to get through so here we go:
25. Black Swan (2010)
This is more of a psychological thriller, but there are some crazy horror-like moments. Therefore, it ABSOLUTELY belongs on this list. Who knew the world of ballet could be so brutal? Actual ballerinas knew…that’s who.
24. Insidious (2010)
The commercials for this movie were scary. Like legit scary. So you knew this was gonna be a good one. And if you had any doubts, they were scared away when red man appeared behind Patrick Wilson…if that didn’t make you piss yourself…then you’re an adult and I’m a baby.
23. Cabin in the Woods (2011)
Not since Scream had a meta horror film really garner as much critical and popular praise. You knew this was going to be a wild ride during that opening scene…especially when the title card ended up being the first jump scare.
22. Kill List (2011)
All I have to say is…that ending. But since I should say more, this British psychological horror keeps you guessing at what the hell is going the whole movie…and then that ending hits you across the head with a club.
21. Sinister (2012)
To be fair, there are parts of this film that aren’t that great. But I’d argue everyone leapt out of their skin when that lawn mower was on the screen…even if in retrospect it was a bit of a cop out jump scare.
20. The Conjuring (2013)
Another Patrick Wilson horror film? Yes, please! Portraying a “real” life ghost hunter? SURE!! Though this was the film that started the Conjuring Universe (Annabelle, Nun, etc.), it was a brilliant entry into a new era of horror.
19. The Babadook (2014)
A creepy man in a black coat and hat? Spooky. Crippling depression that could actually be the true form of the creepy man in a black coat and hat? Terrifying. Add a splash of annoying child? Perfection.
18. What We Do In The Shadows (2014)
The Office meets Dracula. Sign me up! This is the brainchild of Taika Waititi and Jemaine Clement and if you don’t know who those two are…I…I don’t think we can be friends…JUST KIDDING!! We’ll just have to watch this mockumentary about vampires living in modern day Wellington.
17. It Follows (2014)
A sexually transmitted demon that hunts you down and kills you…I’m listening. But really, this film is actually very well written and the characters are interesting…though I’m still not a fan of the girl in the opening who put on stilettos first thing in the morning…do you…do you not have flip flops? Tennis shoes? SLIPPERS?! No? Only stilettos….weird.
16. As Above, So Below (2014)
The catacombs below Paris is one of those places that’s a PERFECT setting for a horror movie. Thousands of bones, darkness, the chance of the walls caving in at any moment…perfect! Add in an entrance to Hell and you get this found footage style film that has you questioning everything.
15. The Witch (2015)
A slow burn that rewards those willing to hang in until the end. A brilliant period piece that shows a family breaking down and struggling to find God’s purpose for them. And then there’s a witch causing a little trouble. You may not understand what the characters are saying…but you don’t need to once the screams start.
14. 10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)
I knew John Goodman could be scary…if you’ve ever seen him in O, Brother Where Art Thou? (not a horror movie, I know) you know he can be a real terrifying presence. And this film definitely amplified it by turning him into a more reserved conspirator who “saves” a young man and woman from an apocalypse…or DID he?
13. Train to Busan (2016)
If you’re sick of zombie movies….you should still see this one. Korean horror films are still some of the most chilling movies. Maybe it’s because they’re not afraid to go where American studios hesitate. But also, it takes place mostly on a train and I don’t think I’ve ever looked at the subway the same again.
12. Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)
This is a movie I stumbled upon on Netflix one night and immediately fell in love with. I don’t know what it is about morgues that naturally make them great settings for horror films…I’M KIDDING!! I know it’s because of the whole dead bodies thing…but what if one of those bodies…was a witch?
11. The Babysitter (2017)
The humor of this movie is its defining feature. Who knew selling your soul for immortality could be such a fun time? Oh yeah, when a scaredy cat kid catches you in the act and you have to kill him…
10. IT (2017)
I was a fan of the original TV movie with Tim Curry playing the killer clown. Was it cheesy? Yes. But we expect that from most Stephen King adaptations….but the 2017 IT film (and its subsequent part II) were definitely a major improvement. Though the first film was the stronger of the two.
9. The Ritual (2017)
Another film I found late at night on Netflix…and I was pleasantly surprised. The acting is superb and the design of the monster/forest god is one of my favorite in the past decade.
8. Get Out (2017)
Jordan Peele’s film debut! AND HE KILLED IT!! This is such an intelligently written horror film with some of the most terrifying sequences I’ve ever seen. And the messaging hidden in every scene still blows me away.
7. A Quiet Place (2018)
Creatures that attack anything that makes a sound…speaking as a naturally clumsy human being…that’s the scariest thing in the world. Of course, the John Krasinski directed film is also filled to the brim with tense scares and brilliant sound design. Horror films are really showing they deserve more recognition than they get.
6. Hereditary (2018)
This was my pick for scariest horror film of 2018. If I was prone to nightmares after watching scary movies this one would have kept me up for weeks…instead I got scared by every shadow and every time I heard anyone click their tongue…seriously…
5. Us (2019)
Jordan Peele knocks it out of the park AGAIN!! This film really makes you question…are your really you? And I think red jumpsuits are now terrifying…and kids…kids are still terrifying…
4. Parasite (2019)
Okay, this is more thriller/comedy, but there are horror elements so I’m including it because we need to acknowledge Korean films…especially in the horror genre (and if I could I’d include A Tale of Two Sisters, but that came out in 2003…though I guess I kind of just did include it…). Parasite deserves all the praise it received including the Oscar win.
3. Midsommar (2019)
Horror in the daylight…hard to do, but Ari Aster knows how to get it done. The sound design and setting work in perfect tandem to keep you on the edge of horrified and invested in the story. Balancing a line you didn’t even know could be balanced.
2. Underwater (2020)
I don’t think enough people gave this one a chance…the timing of its release also didn’t do it any favors. BUT! I actually really enjoyed this film. There are some pretty gnarly kills in it and…I’ll say it: Kristen Stewart was fantastic. I recommend this film especially if there are any other humans who liked Sphere…they’re not similar story-wise, but I’m a sucker for bottom of the ocean horror.
1. Invisible Man (2020)
This ain’t the classic invisible man…this man is technological advanced and a vengeful son of a bitch. Giving any woman who’s been in an abusive relationship something to worry about, this film is paranoia personified. With some pretty good scares and an interesting story, this is definitely a worthwhile watch.
Of course there are far more horror films from the past ten years I couldn’t include on this list…but here are 6 more.
6. Oculus (2013)
A killer mirror and no clue what’s real or not…this film is a mind bend in the best kind of way.
5. Velvet Buzzsaw (2019)
If art could kill…plus Jake Gyllenhaal being a snooty art critic is worth the watch alone.
4. Bird Box (2018)
The best decision made in regards to this movie? Not showing the evil things causing the shenanigans…seriously look up what they were going to look like.
3. Veronica (2017)
Deemed the scariest movie of all time…debatable. But it is a well made possession film.
2. Raw (2016)
There were rumors people couldn’t get through this movie…okay. I had no trouble…what does that say about me?
1. You’re Next (2011)
A female lead who is the most dangerous thing in the movie…like really…scream queen she is not.
I KNOW I’ve missed so many horror films. Make sure to comment your favorite I forgot to include in the comments below!!
I’ve been restraining myself from making ALL the lists about video games….which ended up meaning most are about movies…
Let’s talk about scary video games. Watching horror movies are scary, but there’s still an element missing. The ability to control those in it. In video games, you’re in control….sort of.
There have been many horror games ever since the creation of video games. But I’m just going to list 10 here. And to narrow it down a little more, I will only include one game per franchise AND only ones I’ve played…alone…and regretted playing alone…
10 Scary Video Games You Shouldn’t Play Alone:
If deep sea creatures and possibly being crushed by the overwhelming water pressure or drowning don’t scare you…how about being unable to tell what’s real or not? This deep sea horror is dark, creepy, and really makes you reconsider calamari…
9. Amnesia: The Dark Descent
The indie horror to rule all indie horrors. I could go into how this really made Let’s Plays take off…and that’s a horror all on its own, but I’ll stick to the gameplay. This was really a game that brought a specific genre of horror back into the mainstream…horror where you can’t fight back…you can only run. This wasn’t the first to do it and it also wasn’t the first to include a sanity meter…but it perfected both.
I’m cheating a little with this one. I haven’t finished this game…hell I don’t think I’ve even gotten halfway through it…but it deserves a spot on this list. Atmosphere…fantastic…Creatures…truly scary…Story…totally nuts! The artwork is disturbing in the BEST way and the gameplay is addicting.
7. Until Dawn
I played this game twice. Once on my own. The second time with a friend. What did I learn? It’s definitely scarier when you’re all alone…it’s more FUN with a friend. The fact it has replay ability so you can discover all of the branching paths is wonderful and definitely worth playing through at least twice…and those wendigo creatures are…HORRIFYING!
6. Silent Hill 3
Silent Hill is one of my all time favorite series……..but I missed PT so I can’t include it on this list…and it hurts too much to remember what COULD have been…but the third game in the series was one of my favorites. Heather is my favorite character and the story is absolutely one of my favorites. The monsters and boss fights are forever seared in my brain.
5. Fatal Frame 2
I remember when my friend gave me this game back in high school…and it took me almost five years before I could finish it…because I was so scared of it. I don’t know what it is about this game in particular that terrifies me, but having to let the ghosts get close to do more damage didn’t help.
4. Alien: Isolation
I learned a startling truth about myself playing this game…if I’m ever trapped on a ship with a Xenomorph…I would be the biggest coward. I think I spent more time inside of a locker than creeping through the halls because I was SO scared of that alien bastard hunting me down. Also, the sound design is good I never knew for sure if the sounds of the station were just sounds or the Xenomorph stalking me…well done game designers.
3. Resident Evil 2 (Remake)
In order to be fair…I have to use the remake because I’ve never played the original RE2…but this game was absolutely terrifying. Zombies, a creepy police station, sewers, and LICKERS!! TERRIFYING!! Wait…what’s that noise…stomping down the hallway? OH MY GOD!!! FEDORA MAN!!
You can’t fight. You can only run…sensing a theme here? Your only “weapon” in this game is your trusty camera. And you are going to need it when you enter the Mount Massive Asylum. Well, you’re going to need the night vision setting cause this game is DARK…like PITCH BLACK DARK. You literally can not proceed in some sections without it…OH! And you’re constantly being chased by a giant inmate who doesn’t have any lips and can crush your head in one hand.
1. Layers of Fear
This game is the first in a long time to actually cause me physical pain…when I jumped so big I banged my knee on my desk. Every scare is effective. The atmosphere will have you seeing things in the dark…hearing sounds that aren’t really there…and making your cat rubbing against your leg give you a heart attack.
Time for some Honorable Mentions. These will include games that border horror and action, games I haven’t played in a long time and maybe aren’t as scary as I remember, or anything else that I can’t think of right now.
The real question is this: is it scary because of the gothic setting and monsters…or because of its difficulty? (FYI, I love this game and have played through NG+3 and the DLC…not that I have to defend myself to anyone…or do I…)
You could argue this is more action shooter, but it has demons in it and gore…close enough.
3. Doki Doki Literature Club
Spoiler…I guess? I won’t explain why this is a horror game so if you haven’t played this game…you should.
2. The Last of Us
Zombies aren’t the true horror of this game…but those clickers are very close…
1. The Witch’s House
I couldn’t have a scary horror game list without at least one RPG Maker game. There was a period this was entire horror genre of games and this one was my favorite. The story is well written and the scares still pack a punch even today.
There are still SOOOOOO many horror video games I haven’t played/forgot to put on this list. What are some your favorite?
The title of this list is a tad misleading. These aren’t going to be the classics you should watch if you want to call yourself a true horror fan…I’m not the one to tell you that.
This list is all about movies that maybe didn’t get as much love as they should have, I haven’t heard enough people talk about, or personal favorites that don’t fit on any other list.
And to start off with a pun: Let’s DIVE into the list!!
10. Underwater (hence the pun line)
This movie was released at a very poor time…the ads didn’t do it as much justice…and quite frankly I think people give Kristen Stewart a hard time for a role she played 8-12 years ago…really people, she’s actually made great movies since Twilight (and I’m not even a fan of hers or of sparkling vampires and stalker werewolves). NOW ONTO THIS FILM!! It’s really good! The atmosphere, the story, the characters, and the brutal kills are a thrill ride. Also if you’re a Lovecraft fan…you missed out.
9. The Faculty
This isn’t even going to be the oldest film on this list…but GOD I love this movie!! I remember watching the commercials for this movie and wanting to see it in theaters….I didn’t get to because my parents didn’t like taking us to R movie in theaters…but they didn’t mind letting us watch them at home. When I finally got to see this movie it was everything I wanted! The Breakfast Club meets Invasion of the Body Snatchers…with Frodo and the T-1000 in the same movie!! (the actors not the characters….though actually…kind of, yeah)
8. The Exorcism of Emily Rose
I like the idea of this movie. I wish they’d gone further with the debate/argument that everything that happened to Emily could be explained away…they just gave it away too early. There are still some interesting ideas and frightening scares that make this a good film from the possession genre of horror.
Anthologies for the WIN!! I don’t think enough horror fans have seen this anthology (or the sequels for that matter) and that’s a shame! There are some fantastic stories in this collection and each one is better than the last. If you love Tales from the Crypt or Creepshow, this is a series you NEED to check out.
6. Jennifer’s Body
Megan Fox has been given the same treatment as Kristen Stewart. Listen y’all…sometimes actors are given shit scripts. That’s not their fault. >getting off tiny soapbox< But really, this movie isn’t that bad. The most unbelievable part isn’t the acting, it’s that Amanda Seyfried is a nerd…but that’s neither here nor there. The story is fun and the gore is deliciously disgusting. This is a good time film that you’re supposed to just have fun while watching.
This is the oldest film on this list. This is my guilty pleasure. It’s campy, it’s a product of its time and I love it all the more for that. If you’re a fan of the novel House of Leaves…you CANNOT tell me this film didn’t influence it in some way.
4. Train to Busan
Zombies may be on the downturn…but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t watch this movie! I think that was actually a major reason a lot of people I know didn’t check this one out. And SHAME on them!! The characters are brilliantly written, the underlying themes don’t punch you in the face, and quite frankly……it’s what I wanted World War Z to be…
3. Would You Rather
Look…it’s not the best…but unlike a lot of torture porn horror films…this one at least doesn’t go completely overboard. It keeps the main character’s goal front and center. Plus…that ending hit me harder than I thought it would.
I WILL RECOMMEND THIS FILM EVERY YEAR!! Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell. But where is the lie? This is a French film. It’s a post-apocalyptic, dark comedy, horror romance. Yes, all of those things. True, the B-plot of the revolutionary group is a little…meh, but the rest of the story is fantastic! Plus, I’ll never look at a squeaky bed the same again…
1. The Void
Another one for the Lovecraft fans. This film may sometimes feel like it doesn’t know where it wants to go…I think that’s the point. Though to be honest…I love any horror film where people turn into disgusting twisted gross monsters on a rampage.
Time for some honorable mentions that I won’t be discussing at any length…maybe to add to the mystery of them…or because I don’t want to go on tangents…yeah…that’s the one.
5. The Host
2. The Babysitter
1. ABCs of Death
Any other horror films you think doesn’t get the love it deserves? Leave a comment! Make new friends! Or just say hi!
I know that’s a long title for a list…but this is MY blog and I like the title…I really like the word meh…
ANYBUT! Here is the actual intro for this list.
There are so many horror films. Obviously not ALL of them are going to knock it out of the park. Some are SO close though but maybe one thing prevents it from being the truly terrifying film it could be…and I’m going to do my best to present 10 of those now. And because I didn’t learn my lesson last time, I’ll try to give an idea of how it COULD have happened.
10 Meh Horror Films That COULD Have Been Terrifying
10. The Village
I think the twist at the end could’ve worked…HEAR ME OUT!! It could’ve worked…if the creatures had ACTUALLY been real. Imagine: the village was a tasty trap to keep the real creatures away from the rest of the world. When whatever her name was (the blind girl) had to venture into the woods, her father sacrifices himself in order to keep her daughter safe. And when she reaches the wall and tries to stop the ranger for help, it’s revealed his orders are to shoot any who cross the wall…tragic ending, but I mean is it worse than what we got?
Go…full…horror. It took SOOOO long for anything to happen in this movie. I understand the whole questioning what’s human/playing god with DNA blah blah blah, but this movie should’ve just been a full on horror film. Also rewrite the characters to ACTUALLY be interesting and not…whatever they were and this film could’ve been truly impact fully horrifying.
8. The Exorcism of Emily Rose
Okay, this movie was actually pretty good…except for the flashes to the present. They gave it away too fast that they were going the “it’s all real” route. Keep that shit until the last ten minutes of the film! You went through all the trouble of explaining everything, but you gave away the twist in the first half of the film.
Why do we have to have a random character to follow? Helen Mirren was enough. But if I have to have whatshisname in the film…like the previous entry, don’t give it away the ghosts are real. I think this film could’ve been fantastic if it went sort of the Haunting of Hill House route. Have the audience question if Mirren’s character is crazy or not…while having hidden ghosts all throughout the house. Make the audience question their own eyes as they question the old woman building rooms for ghosts.
6. The Nun
ACTUALLY MAKE A MOVIE ABOUT THE NUN!!! I mean, we didn’t truly learn anything new. I wanted to see how the damn demon decided to dress as a goddamn NUN! I don’t want to be TOLD, I want to SEE it!!! That’s it…that’s the entry.
5. Dead Silence
There were so many elements that were brilliant…they just weren’t well-executed. It makes it very hard to identify what exactly was THE thing that bothered me about this film…I think I wanted to see this film occur closer to the time period the puppet lady died. I think keeping it closer to the woman’s death would’ve added a horror element…maybe?
4. Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark
The monsters were fine…perfect even….but they should’ve just gone full R. I know TECHNICALLY the books are kids books…but I mean…sorry, kids imagine far more terrifying things and truthfully, adults wanted to see this movie just as much as kids. I wanted to see this movie be just horrifying. Show the kids get killed, or better yet…make a version of the movie that’s about adults finding the book and releasing their childhood fears unto the world.
Look…the first Ring was a good horror movie. The idea of making the killer video tape digital? It should’ve worked. Why didn’t it work? Retconning Samara’s story…Why can’t we just get a movie where a creepy girl just kills people without trying to tell her life’s story? I don’t care how she became a media demon! I just want her to kill people!!
2. The Happening
Have someone else write it…next.
1. House of Wax
Make the House of Wax a traveling exhibit. I want it to be successful, not a rundown side of the road show that rarely gets visitors. Also, make the owner personable, likable. I don’t want another mutant or something that makes it unbelievable. You can keep the wound and wax used to cover it (especially for a reveal later), but I want the owner to be, on the surface, a well-liked, charming guy.
There are a lot of films I could’ve included on this list…A LOT. But here are 5 more.
5. Slender Man
Cut the Ring copycat video…it should’ve been like the Bye Bye Man (another awful film). If you think about him…he’s drawn to you.
4. Last Shift
The only thing I’d change…maybe shorten it…it dragged a little bit in the beginning.
3. Dark Water
It could’ve been good. It was almost there. It nailed the atmosphere, but lost it on the scares. I think this could actually be made better now…
2. Silent Hill
I love the video games…LOVE them. I think they got pretty close on the first movie…I just wished there had been less CGI! Could you imagine some of those scenes done with traditional effects? IT COULD HAVE BEEN AMAZING!!
1. One Missed Call
The premise of this movie is fantastic…which is why you should just watch the original. That’s my fix…watch the original Japanese film.
Do you have ideas how some bad horror films could’ve reached pinnacle terror? Leave a comment!