Category Archives: That’s My Job

Log, That's My Job

Rehearsal Day 2

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Day 2 Begins…

More music.

More Dancing.

And some Rat tapping sprinkled in for fun.

Saw even more people I haven’t seen in a while so that was fantastic. Even caught up with people I haven’t seen in almost four months…so, YAY!

I’m going to see how long I can keep these rehearsal posts going…don’t know how popular they’ll be, especially since I can’t really say what show I’m working on.

But I’ll drop hints throughout.

Anybut, this day was fun mostly because the actors were having fun while learning choreography even if it was a little complicated.

Log, That's My Job

Rehearsal Day 1

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My job has begun…

Day 1 of rehearsal was yesterday (rehearsals go until 11pm at night so any posts I make will be the following day).

Nothing super exciting happened. It was a music rehearsal. It was nice to hear the music with the cast but when most of your job is more getting up and doing things….well, I got a lot of other work done.

It’s also always great to see people I haven’t seen in a few months. Some more than others.

This rehearsal process is going to be a lot more interesting than the last show I did.

Anybut, on to day 2!!!

Log, That's My Job

The Struggle Part 2

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You thought it was over…

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, check out this post first: The Struggle Part 1

I was offered to work a show I’ve already worked on at a different theater company.

The differences?

Better pay (like above minimum wage better), free housing (since I’d have to go to Utah), and working the same show 5 days a week with two performances on 2 days (in other words: 48 performances).

The struggle?

I’ve never been to Utah and if I accepted I’d have to leave, like, yesterday. Once I do a show, I tend to do my own post mortem (a term that’s not only for morticians, but also for theater folk; it’s kind of like wrapping up the show and going over what went well and what didn’t, etc.) and am already looking forward to the next show. Also, this show will be directly conflicting with the next show on my calendar…which is one that I’ve been looking forward to all year.

And MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL: I will know absolutely no one. I know a lot of you are probably like, “Why is that the most important thing?” Well, if you haven’t read some of my other posts, here’s the deal: I have social anxiety. It is very difficult for me to get to know new people. The only reason it works at the theater company I work for with the constant new actors is because the basic production team stays the same and I’ve been with them for three years. So, yeah, I’ve gotten to know them to the point I’m comfortable being myself around them.

It’s this final point that’s creating the struggle. My anxiety is playing so many different scenarios through my head (most bad, a few good) and I can’t trust myself to make the decision.

Did I ultimately make a choice? Yes. Will I regret it? Yes. But at the same time, I know I made the right choice for who I am at this moment in time.

Log, That's My Job

The Struggle Part 1

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I’ve debated and debated and debated about whether or not to mention work.

So I’ll compromise and say I work in theater. Not onstage but backstage.

And this is where it gets a little tricky. I currently work with a theater company and I’m extremely fortunate to be working my third season with them. I will not name them, I will not even HINT at who they may be out of respect for their privacy (in case any of them ever read this and so I can talk about things that happen at work since it takes up a LOT of my life).

You’re probably thinking to yourself, but it’s a theater! They need the publicity! Fair, BUT! I can find better ways to promote them than through my blog.

Why even mention I work in theater? Because I need to talk about a struggle I’m having. You see I have the opportunity to move up in the company. Not into a permanent position per se.

You see, when I was in college, I was trained in Stage Management. What is that? Well, it’s someone who manages the stage…okay, there’s WAY more to it than that, but for the sake of this post it’s the person who manages rehearsals, runs the show, calls the cues, and sometimes keep the designers, director, and producers happy. Again, this is a WAAAAAAAY simplified explanation.

ANYBUT! I worked many shows as an assistant stage manager and production stage manager. I’ve worked student productions, operas, musicals, Shakespeare, and a world premiere play. So, I’ve done the job before.

Tying back into where I work…they’ve been mentioning to me the possibility of having me stage manage for them (assistant stage manage, 100%). This would mean getting me an Equity card which could lead to more work with other companies in the future, too.

That sounds great! You should do it! Why are you even hesitating?

I hear you. I understand. But…here’s the struggle…

I don’t deserve it. My imposter syndrome won’t allow me to deserve it. My anxiety and depression won’t allow me to deserve it. And I don’t want to let the company down because of my issues.

Also, as it stands now, I work every show during the season, but if I get an Equity card, there’s a chance I wouldn’t be able to work every show and though it could lead to work with other companies it ALSO would limit how much work I can get…I’m not really sure how it works, but it opens opportunities while also shutting down others.

Get over it!

I wish I could. But until I can…I’ll stay here.

 

TO BE CONTINUED…….sort of.