290th post.

I’ve always been bad at keeping up with things. I’d hoped this site would be different. But once again I’ve proven that I can’t be consistent.

Does this mean I’m giving up on this blog?

No.

I was able to post something every day for 138 days last year. Can I ever accomplish such a feat AGAIN?!

Probably.

But not right now. With everything going on in the world, in my life, and just overall…I really had nothing to post.

Some people are finding this troubling time is making it easier for them to be productive/able to do things they normally wouldn’t have time for…

Honestly, good for them. I’m glad so many unique things are happening for others.

For me…this whole thing has made me realize my own fears. My fears of being successful that prevent me from striving for more or what everyone keeps telling me I deserve. My fears of failure that prevent me from even trying new and terrifying things. My fears of imposter syndrome that convince me if I never strive for more then I can’t let people down.

I’m trapped with the person I hate in this world the most. Me. Not all of me. Just the part where all the fears live.

She’s a real bitch.

I know this is a selfish post. People are sick. People are dying. People are terrorizing each other. People are struggling through all of this with no homes. No families to help them.

And here I am. Watching it happen and not knowing what to do.

Nothing will ever be the same.