I took a big step today.
I sent possibly one of the most important emails of MY LIFE!!
But I don’t know when to officially give myself the title of…….soon to be published author? Is it now or is it when there is a publishing date set?
WHO KNOWS?!
But the one thing I CAN say is this:
I have a contract. I have an independent publishing company who wants to publish my book.
YAY!
I apologize for this, but I don’t know where else to talk about this…so, here goes.
Recently…four days ago, I completed Final Fantasy VII the Remake. I mean, I got the platinum trophy for the game (if you own a Playstation you know what that means).
Anybut, that’s not the main focus of this post. It’s a segue into the main focus.
I’ve forgotten how much the story of Final Fantasy VII (the original 1997 release) influenced me as a writer. It was the first video game I played that had such a deep story that actually got me not only invested in the characters, but ripped my heart out with its twists and turns.
TRUE!! You could argue it got a little bogged down going through every character’s back story….BUT!! A number of those characters were technically optional so you didn’t have to follow through on their stories….BUT WHY WOULDN’T YOU?!
The characters above all else were the most important part of the game! And you had NINE to choose from! And they were all fleshed out in such a skilled way, you fell in love with all of them!
AND THE STORY!!
Now to be fair, when I first played the game I didn’t really know what was going on…but playing through it again…and again…and again, I LOVE the story. It’s one of my favorites of all time!
And with the Remake, I feel like I’m reliving it with additional bonuses since they can now flesh out even more characters to make bigger impacts (even if they did choose to change some of the events slightly)!
I’ve played many of the other Final Fantasy games, but VII will always be the one that truly showed me that characters are just as, if not more, important than the story. IX gave me similar vibes, but something about VII just resonated more with me.
Enough of this talk…for now…just needed to get this off my chest.
ALSO!!! I haven’t even talked about the MUSIC!! GAAHH!!!
290th post.
I’ve always been bad at keeping up with things. I’d hoped this site would be different. But once again I’ve proven that I can’t be consistent.
Does this mean I’m giving up on this blog?
No.
I was able to post something every day for 138 days last year. Can I ever accomplish such a feat AGAIN?!
Probably.
But not right now. With everything going on in the world, in my life, and just overall…I really had nothing to post.
Some people are finding this troubling time is making it easier for them to be productive/able to do things they normally wouldn’t have time for…
Honestly, good for them. I’m glad so many unique things are happening for others.
For me…this whole thing has made me realize my own fears. My fears of being successful that prevent me from striving for more or what everyone keeps telling me I deserve. My fears of failure that prevent me from even trying new and terrifying things. My fears of imposter syndrome that convince me if I never strive for more then I can’t let people down.
I’m trapped with the person I hate in this world the most. Me. Not all of me. Just the part where all the fears live.
She’s a real bitch.
I know this is a selfish post. People are sick. People are dying. People are terrorizing each other. People are struggling through all of this with no homes. No families to help them.
And here I am. Watching it happen and not knowing what to do.
Nothing will ever be the same.
I think this whole being in self isolation is affecting more than my non existent social life and lack of work.
It’s affecting my non existent sleep schedule. And by affecting, I mean every sound in my home that I used to ignore/know exactly what it was…now sounds consistently like somebody walking through the house.
I know it’s not, but I think a little bit of paranoia is starting…and there’s still 26 days of this round of stay at home orders.
My main source of the paranoia is the idea that desperate people who are out of work…will be desperate.
It also didn’t help that this past holiday season, a guy knocked on our door when I was home alone and was acting reeeeaaallllyy shady. Like, facing away from the door and standing enough to the side that if I opened the door, he could easily force his way in or surprise me.
I’m a little jumpy, now.
And I hate that. I hate that I’m even thinking people would do that during this already sucky time…but this is an unusual time. And most people can’t handle unusual.
But as a teenage goth once said, “I myself am…unusual.”
I think that was the quote…close enough.
I watched it. I liked it.
It only really shocked me twice. The first time was due to footage of someone post tiger attack (not too graphic, but I mean you could pretty much see what happened).
The second time was the footage of a man who witnessed another man shoot himself in the head.
The second one was far more shocking. I actually didn’t expect it, but also DID expect it as they led up to the event.
All the twists and turns were played up a bit, but at the same time…EVERY SINGLE PERSON was shady as hell. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM!
Whatever the true story (or stories) is, I did enjoy binge watching the entire series.
That’s all.
You ever stare at your nails and think…
Okay, folks. How are you still a thing?
Now, if you ask me what I meant by this thought I regret to inform you, I have NO IDEA.
Self Isolation Random Thought of the day
I’m an introvert.
I spend a lot of time at home. I don’t like going out, really.
But I do go out to work. To get money so I can continue to have the introvert time…
And while the joke going around is that introverts are in heaven right now…..I’m not.
Due to the nature of my (personal situation) theater work, I have difficulty finding a “real” job to cover the time I’m not working.
There was already rumblings about next season being the make it or break it season for the theater company I work for…leaning heavily on the break it.
There is a high possibility…I won’t have a theater job to come back to…
This is a hard day. Guilt. Anxiety. They’re getting bored with the quarantine and are taking it out on me.
All I can do…is distract myself during the day…for the rest of this pandemic.
But even the distractions are starting to become…less distracting.
Anybut, I just needed to get this off my chest. Sometimes writing it out…purges it from my system. At the very least, this will free me up for a couple more days.
Stay safe everyone. Talk to those you love.
And for the love of all that is still good in this world…be smart and remember we’re all in this together. One way or another.
Since we’re not allowed outside…I haven’t had my hair done in a while.
To be fair, I get my hair done every 8 weeks. But I haven’t had it done since the 18th of December. My hair stylist had a baby and I figured…I can wait a few extra weeks.
I bought some Overtone (enough to make it until my next hair appointment) and figured, I’m good.
Then the thing which shall not be named happened and now………I have a little longer to wait. I could order more Overtone…but I thought…why not track the hair growth.
So, here we go. Now keep in mind this has already been growing since December 18th.
This is just for stupid fun. Something to do so I won’t go mad and just shave all the hair off………so HERE WE GO!
There will not be a random news.
There is too much going on.
Every random news will be in some form related to the Coronavirus.
That’s how much this has affected EVERYTHING.
There is NOTHING I can post that won’t in some form or some twisted way have to do with the Coronavirus.
And I don’t want to pretend it isn’t happening. I don’t want to act like everything is fine.
So there won’t be a random news post on Saturday.
Discussing things that happened…
Time to talk about 5 things that’ve happened and state my random opinion about them:
And that was 5 random news stories.
Anybut, thank you for joining me.
These were MY opinions on each. Your opinions may be different and that’s fine. Now on to more random things!!
A Joy on the Up Days...Self Control: Needs Improvement 