Tag Archives: Log

It Just Got Personal, Log

Slacker

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I need to catch up on work…

Not actual job work, but work I promised myself I wouldn’t let slide. Well, that isn’t working out…no pun (?) intended…

I mean, I’ve always been a bit of a slacker or to be more precise last minute worker. As much as I try to not wait to the last minute to do things, the habit has been ingrained in me since, god, elementary school.

And I love hanging out with my friends….I DO!!! But sometimes, it feels like we always plan things right when the stars line up to allow me to get work done. I get the house to myself, it’s the weekend so I don’t have to worry about random knocks on the door…usually, and I feel the wave of slackness leaving (yes it comes in waves).

Then my friends plan things. Sometimes I get enough of a heads up to adjust accordingly….other times….I become a slacker. I put off saying I can’t do it, until it’s like too late or too inappropriate or uncouth to say I can’t do it.

And even if I did….how do you explain to your friends (who have faaaaar more strenuous jobs or actual 9-5, 5 days a week jobs) that you just can’t because of your own failures as an organized human being? Or how do you tell them that you just can’t go spend money on food or fun activities because the paychecks are few and far between and even when I get them….there’s not much left over after the necessities…

How do you let them know you’re ashamed of yourself and don’t talk about your life because you don’t want them to know how much of a downward spiral you feel like you’re on?

…………….Especially when their problems, their life issues…..are actual ones that aren’t because they’re slackers like me?

I Have A Dream, Log

Earliest Nightmare

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Do you remember…

The earliest nightmare you ever had?

I do.

And I know it was the earliest nightmare because I was still in a crib.

Back story: I apparently was very picky about toys when I was a baby, but if I could’ve told my parents about this nightmare clearly, I’m sure they would’ve understood why better.

Anybut, back to the nightmare.

I remember being in my crib and I looked over at a shelf that was…preeeetty high up on the wall across the room. Sitting on the shelf were a number of toys, but the most important toy for the purpose of this story is a Teddy Bear.

It was a very nice bear, from a German company that I can’t remember the name of (but if I do I’ll edit this post at the bottom with the name). It was a normal little dark brown bear with a pink bow on its…left ear? right ear? left ear.

It wasn’t a very nice bear this night. It’s head decided to turn towards me as I stared at it…before pulling an Exorcist…and spinning all the way around. Then it fell from the shelf to the floor.

And that was the nightmare. The strangest thing though was the next morning, my parents found the bear on the floor….

BUT that was enough to make me hate that teddy bear toy for many years. I literally wouldn’t allow it in my room until I went to college. By then, it was more of a nostalgic thing…one of the earliest gifts from my parents as I left them for my new life as an adult…college student.

So, yeah, that was the earliest nightmare I can remember. I have another nightmare to share with you all another day….that one doesn’t have a relatively happy ending, though.

Cat Tales Woo-oo, Log

Funny Picture of My Cat

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For your viewing pleasure:

IMG_1417.JPG

If you’re curious about the odd loss of fur, this picture was taken a week after we got our little Queen spayed. This picture is old (notice the Santas in the background, we do not keep them up all year round) and she has her fur back.

Don’t worry. We don’t shave our cats.

Log, Thinking Out Loud

Promotion?

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Is it unusual…

Is it unusual that I hate promoting myself? Ir at least, the stuff I do?

I mean, occasionally I do…like on Twitter, but god if I don’t feel guilty about it. I mean I mentioned in other posts how I have a blog (this one you’re reading, in case you were thinking, “What? ANOTHER blog? Where is it?”) , 2 (COUNT EM 2!!!) YouTube channels, 2 Instagram accounts (one for me and one for my cats [which I also have 2 of, seems to be my favorite number…not really]), and a web serial I’ve been working on since…2014? Yeah, 2014.

What’s a web serial, you (didn’t) ask? It’s basically a story published online that updates chapters (depending on the author) every day, every other day, every week, every month, etc.

Anybut, point is, I don’t really care about strangers finding the things I do online, but when I imagine my friends or family stumbling on them…ooooooh, it makes me want to hide all of it.

I guess it’s because they know me better than strangers and their words (though far more constructively honest) cut just a little bit deeper and at the points where they’ll do the most damage. (At least, in my mind)

Maybe I’ll get over this….Maybe I never will…until then…time to move on from these posts hinting at all of the things I will never promote on here.

Log, Thinking Out Loud

Late to the Game

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Going back to a previous post…

What post you ask? (WARNING: Shameless plug to other post imminent) THIS POST: Always Late

Anybut, I had this stupid idea while I was lying awake in bed last night at 3 in the morning.

I should start a podcast. I could call it Late to the Game. My friends and I could talk about the new things happening and how we’re Late to the Game in joining them, using them, or whatever.

It could also be an educational podcast for others who are Late to the Game. Like my post about “Stans”. What post you may ask? (WARNING!!!: Second shameless plug to other post coming your way!) THIS POST!!!!: Stans……?

Okay, enough shameless plugs to previous posts. The bottom line is this………..I can’t call it Late to the Game. There’s already a podcast about games called that….

Ding dong dammit (I won’t link to this post, but if you’re curious try to find it yourself! Think of it as a scavenger hunt with no real payoff)

Oh well, I guess my dream of adding podcaster to my long list of things I’m branching unhealthily into.

Log, Our House

Sound of Silence…JK!

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Our house is located on a main road.

Well, not really…but really. We’re one of the first two houses when you turn into our neighborhood, but the north (?) facing side of our house is to a main, busy road.

The point is, our house was also built in the 70’s so it’s not that….soundproof. Every truck that goes by, you feel it. The house shakes a little.

Also, anyone walking by in the middle of the night talking relatively loudly, guess what? I can hear every word you’re saying. Not 100% clearly, but enough to make it hard to go back to sleep.

Anybut, the real reason I bring this up is this: It makes it very hard to record anything. And I don’t have the option to hide in a closet like most people.

It Just Got Personal

Laughter Makes the World Go Round…Right?

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I have a confession to make.

When I watch videos on YouTube or niche reality shows (Harmon’s Quest, anyone?) I have a secret agenda.

The laughter.

Watching shows or videos where the people are genuinely having fun, making each other laugh, or go through crazy events…the laughter really makes me feel part of it. It makes me feel like I have friends.

Don’t look at me that way…I know the people on the screens aren’t my friends and never will be. AND I KNOW I DO HAVE FRIENDS!!

But there are times my friends…just aren’t into what I am. They don’t like the shows or videos I watch. They don’t understand the appeal of the things that make me feel so included. It’s not their fault. They have things they’re into that I’m not and this is not a diss on them.

And sometimes, I feel alone because I don’t get to see my friends that often anymore……So I put on a stupid little video of two people playing games together and having a fun time…and for a few minutes I feel like I’m not alone. I feel like my friends are there with me.